The birth of a new year is a time of reflection and resolution, when hope and inspiration fill the air. We dream about what this upcoming year holds in store for us, how we can make the rest of our life the best of our life. We all have ideas, ambitions, and aspirations that we yearn to bring to fruition, and the new year gives us "permission" to revisit these goals and breathe new life into them. For a brief moment, everything is crystal clear, we see our purpose and our path with vivid clarity. However, there is an underlying frustration that accompanies this time period as well. If we reflect honestly, we often realize that our new year's resolutions are awfully similar to those of last year, and the year before, and the year before…
We have brief moments of inspiration, but they soon fade into oblivion, only to be resuscitated for a few more days the next year in the hopes that somehow this year might be different. However, there is another option, a way to actually make this year different. By truly understanding this time of year and fully tapping into powerful themes, we can we can turn what was previously fleeting inspiration into lasting, eternal change.
The Deeper Themes of Teshuva
Elul and Rosh Hashanah center around the concept of teshuva. Teshuva literally means "return"- but whom, or perhaps what, are we returning to? The Gemara (Kidushin 39b) explains that Hashem created teshuva before creating the world itself. What is the meaning of this enigmatic statement, and what lessons and implications does it have for us as we proceed through the teshuva process?
The Practical Form of Teshuva
The Rambam (Hilchos Teshuva) discusses the three-step process of teshuva:
• First, one must reflect on their past and acknowledge that a problem exists.
• One must then transition into the present and strongly feel the pain of their mistake, regretting it wholeheartedly.
• Finally, one must look towards the future and resolve to never commit this same mistake again.
This three-step guide is the practical process of teshuva. However, the essence of teshuva goes beyond these three steps, and understanding this essence is the key to transform ourselves truly through these three steps.
True Teshuva: Returning to Your Higher Self
Genuine teshuva is not just about self-transformation, it's about self-expression, returning to your true and higher self. While we were in the womb we were in a perfect and transcendent state of being, and a malach (angel) teaches us kol ha'Torah kulah (all of Torah) (Niddah 30b). As the Vilna Gaon explains, this refers to the deepest realms of Torah, a transcendent Torah that lies far beyond this world, beyond the confines of space and time. This Torah is the very root of reality, and you were granted complete understanding of its every detail. Not only were you shown this level of Torah, but you also learned your specific share of Torah—you were shown your unique purpose in the world, and how your unique role fits into the larger scheme of the human story as a whole. You were given a taste of your own perfection, of what you could, should, and hopefully will become. And from this transcendent realm, you were birthed into the physical world with the mission to actualize everything you were shown in the womb, while in your perfect, primordial state.
In essence, your job in this world is not to create yourself, but rather to recreate yourself; to re-attain your original state of perfection, as you were shown by the malach. This time, however, it must be done through free will, by choosing to become great. Only by overcoming challenge and difficulty, only by asserting your willpower, can you fulfill your true potential. In essence, our entire life is a story of teshuva—returning to our original, higher, and true self.
The shofar is a wake-up blast, meant to shake us from our stupor and return us to our true self. When we hear the shofar's piercing cry, we yearn to return to our source, to our higher selves. The word "shofar" shares a root with "li'shaper", to perfect and beautify. Strikingly, it also shares a root with "mei shafir", the amniotic fluid which surrounds the fetus while in the womb. When we blow the shofar, we are reminded to improve and perfect ourselves, to return to our fetal state of perfection we once knew, to return to our true selves.
The Three Stages of Teshuva
There are three stages of genuine teshuva:
• The first is individual teshuva, whereby we return to our higher selves, our fetal selves, our true selves.
• The second stage of teshuva goes beyond the limited self, turning the focus from individual to community.
• The third stage of teshuva is returning to our absolute root and source, to the Source of all sources, to Hashem Himself. The Nefesh Ha'Chaim refers to Hashem as the "Neshama shel neshamos", the Soul of all souls. Hashem is the root of existence, the absolute root of all our souls. Our entire journey through life is about sourcing our existence back to Hashem—this is the ultimate teshuva.
We can now explain the Gemara which states that teshuva preceded creation (Kiddushin 39b). This not merely a chronological phenomenon, this is a fundamental principle: teshuva is the root of this world, all of existence is created with the purpose of returning to its source, to fully reflect its absolute root, Hashem Himself.
May we be inspired to fully actualize all three forms of teshuva this Rosh Hashana, and seal ourselves in the book of life, the book of true existence.
Shmuel Reichman is an inspirational speaker and has spoken internationally at shuls, conferences, and Jewish communities. For all questions, thoughts, or bookings, please email firstname.lastname@example.org.