Maurice was showing off. He said to his friend Sam, “I bought a hearing aid yesterday. It cost me $2,000.” 

Sam said, “That’s expensive, isn’t it?”

Maurice replied, “Yes, but it is state of the art.” 

“What kind is it?” Sam asked. 

“A quarter to twelve,” said Maurice. 



Moshe goes for a walk in the woods. Suddenly, a six-foot-tall grizzly bear appears and approaches him at quite a fast pace. Moshe stands there and begins praying for his safety. But then Moshe notes that the bear has stopped, has put on a skullcap, and has also started praying. Saved!

But as Moshe approaches the bear with an outstretched hand to greet a fellow Jew, he hears the bear concluding the motzi, the traditional prayer before eating. 


From Oy! The Ultimate Book of Jewish Jokes, by David Minkoff


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