“Rabbi,” said the president of the congregation, “I was sorry to hear that you are planning to resign for another pulpit.”

“Rabbi,” said the president of the congregation, “I was sorry to hear that you are planning to resign for another pulpit.”

A man walks by a Judaica store and sees an odd sight: three caged parrots in the storefront window. Curious, he walks in and looks at the first bird. It has a price tag of $25,000!

This guy tells his mother that he’s finally going to get married. His mother is thrilled!

A man lodged a complaint against his Jewish neighbor, alleging that the neighbor’s sukkah was right up against the boundary between their lots, in violation of the zoning codes. The judge before whom the case was tried studied the matter carefully, and ruled that the sukkah had to be removed…

A rabbi was so avid a golfer that once, on Yom Kippur, he left the house early and went out for a quick nine holes by himself. An angel who happened to be looking on immediately notified his superiors that a grievous sin was being committed on earth.

An eighty-five year old man is driving down the highway when his cellphone rings. It’s his wife in a panic, shouting, “Be careful! Be careful! I just heard on the radio there’s a crazy person driving the wrong way down the highway!”

Horowitz buys a dog, trains him, and invites his friend Epstein over to see him. As soon as Epstein enters the house, Horowitz points to a newspaper on the floor and tells the dog, “Fetch!”

Bella was the only Jew in her class at an exclusive school in Scarsdale. Quite rightly, she considered herself a lucky girl since, in those days, only gentiles were admitted.

Four friends are sitting in a restaurant in Moscow. for a long time, nobody says a word. Finally, one man groans, “Oy.”

Joey Bishop tells about the entertainer, Frank Sinatra, who was dining out one night when a young high school lad came up to his table.

An exceptionally bright young scholar, barely out of his teens, completed a brilliant manuscript in which he explored the obscure laws and morals of jewish folklore. To help make his book more salable he went to Rabbi Elijah, the Gaon of Vilna, and begged him to write a preface.

It happened during the blackout of November, 1965, when the electric circuits went dead from Canada to Baltimore. New York was especially hit, with not a light in evidence anywhere.