(JNS) The Ohio Senate unanimously passed a bill on December 9th that would create the Holocaust and Genocide Memorial and Education Commission.
Frank and Lena are in their retirement home down in Florida. Frank calls his son and says, “Look, son, I’ve been married for forty-five years to your mother—I cannot take it anymore! I’m out of here! I can’t take the kvetching and the criticism. I’m getting my own apartment. I’m leaving.”
Clara was simply ecstatic as her suitor, on his knees, proposed marriage. Never had he or anyone else spoken so beautifully to her. His voice was like a tender caress, his words as delicate as rose petals.
Two psychiatrists are leaving their building together after a long day. The younger man is completely worn out, with rumpled hair, wrinkled clothing, and a tired, sweaty face. The older man, however, looks as if he has just enjoyed a siesta.
A Jewish farmer who had three sons made out a will which stipulated that one-half of his cows should go to the oldest son, one-third to the second son, and one-ninth to the youngest. After the farmer’s death it was discovered that he had seventeen cows, and no matter how the sons tried they …
A man who had lived a life of depravity finally repented and yearned to walk in the ways of G-d. He went to the rabbi to admit his unworthiness and to beg forgiveness of the Almighty. But, in his newly-acquired saintliness, he was ashamed to confess the full extent of his past sins, even to …
A woman instructed the artist painting her portrait, “I want you to put a gold bracelet on each wrist, a pearl necklace on my neck, ruby earrings on each ear, an emerald tiara on my head and on each finger, a 20-carat diamond ring.
An old Jewish woman, on her eightieth birthday, decides to prepare her last will and testament. She goes to the rabbi to show it to him and ask his advice on certain points After all the monetary bequests are allotted, she tells the rabbi of two last requests. The first request is that upon …
A man lodged a complaint against his Jewish neighbor, alleging that the neighbor’s sukkah was right up against the boundary between their lots, in violation of the zoning codes. The judge before whom the case was tried studied the matter carefully, and ruled that the sukkah had to be removed…
A rabbi was so avid a golfer that once, on Yom Kippur, he left the house early and went out for a quick nine holes by himself. An angel who happened to be looking on immediately notified his superiors that a grievous sin was being committed on earth.
An eighty-five year old man is driving down the highway when his cellphone rings. It’s his wife in a panic, shouting, “Be careful! Be careful! I just heard on the radio there’s a crazy person driving the wrong way down the highway!”
Horowitz buys a dog, trains him, and invites his friend Epstein over to see him. As soon as Epstein enters the house, Horowitz points to a newspaper on the floor and tells the dog, “Fetch!”
An exceptionally bright young scholar, barely out of his teens, completed a brilliant manuscript in which he explored the obscure laws and morals of jewish folklore. To help make his book more salable he went to Rabbi Elijah, the Gaon of Vilna, and begged him to write a preface.