“Rabbi,” said the president of the congregation, “I was sorry to hear that you are planning to resign for another pulpit.”
A man lodged a complaint against his Jewish neighbor, alleging that the neighbor’s sukkah was right up against the boundary between their lots, in violation of the zoning codes. The judge before whom the case was tried studied the matter carefully, and ruled that the sukkah had to be removed…
A rabbi was so avid a golfer that once, on Yom Kippur, he left the house early and went out for a quick nine holes by himself. An angel who happened to be looking on immediately notified his superiors that a grievous sin was being committed on earth.
An eighty-five year old man is driving down the highway when his cellphone rings. It’s his wife in a panic, shouting, “Be careful! Be careful! I just heard on the radio there’s a crazy person driving the wrong way down the highway!”
Horowitz buys a dog, trains him, and invites his friend Epstein over to see him. As soon as Epstein enters the house, Horowitz points to a newspaper on the floor and tells the dog, “Fetch!”
An exceptionally bright young scholar, barely out of his teens, completed a brilliant manuscript in which he explored the obscure laws and morals of jewish folklore. To help make his book more salable he went to Rabbi Elijah, the Gaon of Vilna, and begged him to write a preface.